Most Michigan parents who decide to end their marriage remain committed to caring for their children physically, mentally and emotionally. This commitment typically includes putting themselves in their children’s shoes before, during and after the divorce. It can also help to keep the following tips in mind.
Studies indicate that exposure to the conflict surrounding divorce does more damage to a child’s mental and emotional state than the divorce itself. With that in mind, don’t expose your children to arguments, disrespectful behaviors and other conflicts with your ex.
Keeping it positive
Depending on the circumstances surrounding your divorce, you may feel like you hate your ex. Even if that’s the case, resist the temptation to speak about your ex in negative terms to your children. When you complain about your ex to your child, you’re forcing him or her to take sides in the divorce. Even comments that you make to yourself can have an impact.
Erasing blame instead of placing blame
When younger children see their parents go through a divorce, they often blame themselves. Experts agree that this misplaced blame is more common among younger children. Having a conversation with your children at the earliest stages of the divorce allows them to absolve themselves from blame.
Supporting your children
Making children a priority during and after divorce goes far beyond making child support payments. Instead, true child support includes meeting the financial, physical, emotional and mental needs of your children. You and your ex are the best support system for your children.
When your children start spending some of their time with you and some of it with your ex, they need consistency. While parenting styles may differ, create some consistent rules that are in effect at both homes.
Divorce brings about changes in a family that your children didn’t ask for. Applying these tips helps alleviate some of the stress that children face during and after their parents’ divorce.