How to resist the urge to go back to an abusive ex

How to resist the urge to go back to an abusive ex

On Behalf of | Dec 16, 2022 | Domestic Violence

It’s common for an abusive ex to try getting back together with their victim. They may claim that they have changed and will treat them well. Victims find it hard to resist the urge to try again because they may still have feelings for their former partner or spouse. It’s easy to give in to the hope that their ex is no longer abusive. In Michigan, there are around 90,000 reported victims of domestic violence every year. Many people go back to their abuser at least once before permanently staying away.

Learn about relationships

One of the reasons some people find it difficult to leave an abusive partner is they don’t know a lot about relationships. You could research what it means to be in a healthy relationship. Once you know what’s acceptable and what isn’t, you have a benchmark to discern potential partners. You would also have a clear idea of what you’re looking for. Thus, you are able to weed out those who aren’t a match for you faster and easier. Learn about the red flags to watch for in a person as well. This may help you avoid another domestic violence situation.

Find a hobby

Keeping yourself busy with healthy activities is a great way to get over your ex. It’s easier to avoid returning to them when you’re not constantly thinking about them. Examples of hobbies you could take up are playing a sport, taking dance classes, taking yoga classes, joining a book club, and hiking.

Attend regular therapy sessions

Most people who find themselves in an abusive relationship have had a trauma in the past or a mental health condition. It’s worth considering this possibility and scheduling an appointment with a therapist. Therapy isn’t just for people who have mental health conditions either. Anyone who is going through a difficult period in life could benefit from seeing a therapist. The goal is to equip you with healthy tools to navigate your life and achieve your goals.

Knowledge and staying busy with life are the keys to resisting the urge to return to an abusive ex. Don’t beat yourself up over the desire either. These are normal human emotions, and it’s possible to overcome them through time and the right support system.

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